Vanessa and Paul
Vanessa and Paul met in a writing course the second semester of their sophomore year at college. Vanessa graduated from high school at the top of her class and dreamed of becoming a journalist. Paul was athletic, charming, and had a smile that immediately lit up the room. The two began spending time with one another while working on a group project and from there a romance budded.
From the time they met until they graduated from college, Vanessa and Paul spent most of their time together, whether they were walking to class, eating in the dining hall, studying in the library, or spending time together at night. Every once in a while Vanessa would go out with her girlfriends, but every time she did Paul would try and make her feel guilty for choosing time with her friends over time with him, give her a hard time about the clothing she wore when he wasn’t with her, and even show up at the places where she was. This stopped when Vanessa’s friends stopped asking her to do things because Paul’s behavior made them uncomfortable. The only other time they had arguments was when Paul saw Vanessa talking to another guy. She didn’t blame him – she actually thought it was kind of sweet that he cared about her so much he would get jealous.
A year after graduation, Vanessa was working as a staff writer for a local newspaper and Paul worked in sales. They had decided to move in together and were very excited to start this new part of their lives. They rented an apartment and even got a dog. One seemingly ordinary evening, as they were cleaning up from dinner, they got into an argument over financial issues. Paul shoved Vanessa into the wall. He immediately apologized and promised to never do it again. Vanessa was shaken, but managed to brush it off.
Months later, Paul was offered an opportunity to transfer with his company half way across the country. Vanessa found a job with a newspaper in the town they were moving to and everything was seeming to fall into place. Before long, the two were married and talking about having children. Both of their careers were going well and Vanessa had never felt more secure in her relationship.
A year and a half later, Vanessa and Paul were the proud parents of a baby girl. They named her Jenna. Vanessa made the decision to put her career on hold to stay at home with their baby. One night Vanessa and Paul woke up to Jenna crying. Nothing Vanessa did could calm the baby down. Enraged, Paul demanded that Vanessa keep Jenna quiet, but there seemed as though there was nothing she could do. Paul berated her with comments about being an inadequate mother and as the argument escalated he slapped her across the face. Similar to when Paul pushed Vanessa years ago, he apologized and promised it would never happen again. Vanessa believed him – but Paul didn’t keep his promise.
The violence in the house continued to escalate. Paul would hit, slap, punch, and kick Vanessa. She never knew what to expect or what would prove to be the catalyst for an attack any given day. Vanessa knew she needed to talk to someone but she didn’t know how. The morning after a particularly brutal beating, she called the hotline of the domestic violence organization in her area and spoke with a counselor. She explained that she didn’t want to leave, she just wanted him to stop hurting her. She loved him – and on top of that she had a child with him. She began meeting with a counselor once a week during the day so that Paul would never know. Her counselor helped her realize that what was happening was not her fault. She also worked with Vanessa to devise safety plans to keep both her and Jenna safe. The beatings didn’t stop, but Vanessa didn’t blame herself anymore.
Six months after Vanessa started meeting with her counselor, Paul lost his job, like so many others, as the economy took a turn for the worse. With Paul at home every day, Vanessa was unable to meet with her counselor. The beatings were happening more regularly now as Paul was never away from home. Vanessa realized this was not going to stop and that she had to make a change.
She spent time planning, and one afternoon, while Paul was at the gym, she took the baby and left home for the domestic violence shelter. During her stay there she continued to meet with her counselor, she filed for and was granted a Protection from Abuse order against Paul, and she made arrangements to move back home to be near her family.
