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A Woman’s Place

would like to wish all who observe

Easter

a very safe and happy holiday.

This is what Domestic Violence looks like in dollars…

“The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services.

Victims of intimate partner violence lost almost 8 million days of paid work because of the violence perpetrated against them by current or former husbands, boyfriends and dates. This loss is the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs and almost 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of violence.

There are 16,800 homicides and $2.2 million (medically treated) injuries due to intimate partner violence annually, which costs $37 billion.”*

From: *http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National)

WE must STOP domestic violence…Today is Tax Day and all donations to A Woman’s Place are tax-deductible.  You can help  us stop domestic violence by donating to our Transforming Together campaign.  Please click on the link below to Donate Now…THANK YOU!

https://npo.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?npoSubscriptionId=3726

Vanessa and Paul

Vanessa and Paul met in a writing course the second semester of their sophomore year at college. Vanessa graduated from high school at the top of her class and dreamed of becoming a journalist. Paul was athletic, charming, and had a smile that immediately lit up the room. The two began spending time with one another while working on a group project and from there a romance budded.

From the time they met until they graduated from college, Vanessa and Paul spent most of their time together, whether they were walking to class, eating in the dining hall, studying in the library, or spending time together at night. Every once in a while Vanessa would go out with her girlfriends, but every time she did Paul would try and make her feel guilty for choosing time with her friends over time with him, give her a hard time about the clothing she wore when he wasn’t with her, and even show up at the places where she was. This stopped when Vanessa’s friends stopped asking her to do things because Paul’s behavior made them uncomfortable. The only other time they had arguments was when Paul saw Vanessa talking to another guy. She didn’t blame him – she actually thought it was kind of sweet that he cared about her so much he would get jealous.

A year after graduation, Vanessa was working as a staff writer for a local newspaper and Paul worked in sales. They had decided to move in together and were very excited to start this new part of their lives. They rented an apartment and even got a dog. One seemingly ordinary evening, as they were cleaning up from dinner, they got into an argument over financial issues. Paul shoved Vanessa into the wall. He immediately apologized and promised to never do it again. Vanessa was shaken, but managed to brush it off.

Months later, Paul was offered an opportunity to transfer with his company half way across the country. Vanessa found a job with a newspaper in the town they were moving to and everything was seeming to fall into place. Before long, the two were married and talking about having children. Both of their careers were going well and Vanessa had never felt more secure in her relationship.

A year and a half later, Vanessa and Paul were the proud parents of a baby girl. They named her Jenna. Vanessa made the decision to put her career on hold to stay at home with their baby. One night Vanessa and Paul woke up to Jenna crying. Nothing Vanessa did could calm the baby down. Enraged, Paul demanded that Vanessa keep Jenna quiet, but there seemed as though there was nothing she could do. Paul berated her with comments about being an inadequate mother and as the argument escalated he slapped her across the face. Similar to when Paul pushed Vanessa years ago, he apologized and promised it would never happen again. Vanessa believed him – but Paul didn’t keep his promise.

The violence in the house continued to escalate. Paul would hit, slap, punch, and kick Vanessa. She never knew what to expect or what would prove to be the catalyst for an attack any given day. Vanessa knew she needed to talk to someone but she didn’t know how. The morning after a particularly brutal beating, she called the hotline of the domestic violence organization in her area and spoke with a counselor. She explained that she didn’t want to leave, she just wanted him to stop hurting her. She loved him – and on top of that she had a child with him. She began meeting with a counselor once a week during the day so that Paul would never know. Her counselor helped her realize that what was happening was not her fault. She also worked with Vanessa to devise safety plans to keep both her and Jenna safe. The beatings didn’t stop, but Vanessa didn’t blame herself anymore.

Six months after Vanessa started meeting with her counselor, Paul lost his job, like so many others, as the economy took a turn for the worse. With Paul at home every day, Vanessa was unable to meet with her counselor. The beatings were happening more regularly now as Paul was never away from home. Vanessa realized this was not going to stop and that she had to make a change.

She spent time planning, and one afternoon, while Paul was at the gym, she took the baby and left home for the domestic violence shelter. During her stay there she continued to meet with her counselor, she filed for and was granted a Protection from Abuse order against Paul, and she made arrangements to move back home to be near her family.

We will be gathering tonight at the Bensalem Township Municipal Building, in Bensalem, PA to watch “Telling Amy’s Story”.   Together we will hear her tragic story of domestic violence that ends in her death.  The movie interviews various people who were involved, and it follows the timeline of  the abuse that leads up to the loss of her life.  Though the ending to Amy’s story can not change, we hope that by sharing it, outcomes for other victims, survivors, and loved ones affected by domestic violence every day will. Detective Deirdri Fishel will lead a discussion afterwards that will allow everyone a chance to share their thoughts. 

Follow this link for the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pt0qoqFV6g

If you would like to join us please RSVP  by email:  iaduba@awomansplace.org or call: 215.343.9241

Transforming Together

Transforming Ourselves, Our Community, Change.

Dear Friends,

Transformative change – this terminology has been thrown around since the social movements of the 60’s and 70’s, and in our work, we frequently talk about it alongside jargon like societal shifts, but what exactly does it mean? By most definitions, transformative change is something intentional that occurs over time and alters the culture of the involved institution by changing underlying assumptions and overt institutional behaviors, processes, and structures – but, definitions aside, what does that mean for A Woman’s Place (AWP)? Why is transformative change so important to us and our mission?

Albert Einstein once said, “problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” We cannot successfully eradicate domestic abuse and violence without first changing society’s perception of it. In order to transform society we must first transform ourselves, and so, with great excitement, I invite you to join AWP in our campaign Transforming Together: Transforming Ourselves. Transforming Our Community. Transforming Change. Our goal is bold, to raise $175,000 by June 30, 2011, but in doing so we, as a community, open a world of wonderful opportunities – opportunities for the Bucks County Community to transform society’s view of domestic violence from something a private matter to a community issue, opportunities for AWP to transform from an organization reliant on government funding to an organization supported more heavily by our community members, opportunities to transform ourselves into vocal advocates for the cause and for the individuals AWP serves, and, most importantly, opportunities for victims to make the transformation to survivors.

Transformations of great magnitude are only possible with strong driving forces behind them. Your contribution of $25, $50, $100 or more is a generous acknowledgement of your support and dedication to the transformations that must occur on each level to achieve our end goal – a community where domestic violence no longer exists.

Along with this letter, we have sent you the story of Vanessa and Paul – an example that reflects the situations and scenarios we see day in and day out as the only domestic violence organization in Bucks County. It has only been through the support of you, and others like you, that AWP has been able to provide a variety of services and support to victims, just like Vanessa. Over the past 35 years, the support of you and your community has helped so many victims begin to survive. Last year, AWP, aided by the support of the Bucks County community, helped transform the lives of more than 4,100 women, men, and children.

During this campaign we will share stories of many different transformations – transformations of victims to survivors, personal transformations of our staff and volunteers, and transformations that the organization has gone through since our founding. You will be able to follow these stories on our Web site, our blog, Facebook, and Twitter. I welcome you to share your stories as well, as you are a part of everything we do. Also, make sure to check the progress of the campaign on our Web site.

I am very much looking forward to transforming alongside you and the rest of the community.

With deepest appreciation,

Donna J. Byrne

Executive Director

AWP is kicking off our “Transforming Together” Campaign in an effort to raise $175,000 by June 30, 2011.  This is your chance to help transform society’s beliefs about domestic violence, transform A Woman’s Place into an organization more heavily supported by our donors and less reliant on government funding, and help so many victims make the transformation from victim to survivor.  Partcipate in our interactive discussions here as well as on Facebook, get updates on the campaign, and even share your own stories about transformations!